How to make friends, not enemies.

I have been listening to this audiobook by Dale Carnegie. I have learned a lot, and I already use some of these friendly gestures of advice in my own ways of handling people and seeing their point of view. If you have already read this book, it is a classic and never hurts to refresh some people skills.

Six Rules to make friends:

1. Be genuinely interested in what the other person is saying, just like how your dog is interested in you. Fake people stand out , and are no fun to talk to.

2. Smile. Changes the atmosphere in a room.

3. Use and remember the other person's name. Their name is the most important thing about who they are and separates them from everyone else.

4. Listen. It is about the other person's interest and stories, even if you do not get to say your part of the story.

5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests. Once you figure out what the OTHER person wants, you can work together to get what you want.

6. Do unto others as other do to you. Everyone wants to be appreciated. Scratch your back, you scratch mine.

Patience & Un-Punctuality

I took this shot in Downtown LA and I have been thinking of using it to blog about the "time challenged" people, like myself. I had this idea that punctual people should be more patient towards un-punctual people. After all, everything cool never starts on time. Movies, concerts, festivals, parties... And who reads analog clocks anymore?

I just got back from Sequoia National Park today. Let me tell you, I thought I was patient AND un-punctual. Nope. This concept I have been playing around with in my head, I had to apply to myself this past weekend. Patience towards the un-punctual. The whole time I was there, all I did was drive faster to see more stuff. Go go go... See more now now now... In Southern California, we live in a fast pace culture, and I try to slow it down as much as possible. But slowing down time gets hard (especially when texting is so fun and I need to be somewhere five minutes ago), and we all get sucked up into the vacuum of faster faster faster...
So when I was standing in line at the store to buy some ice, and the one person in front of me was taking FOREVER with the small amount of items, I had to remember that I was not in Southern California, and I was a visitor to the giant forest, just like everyone else.

Everything is slower and no one cares. Take a deep breath, and wait.

Alas, a new section to the blog... What I have learned...

Time Saving Tips

I have been listening this audiobook by Timothy Ferris. There are a lot of good time saving tips, work and not work related.

1. Don't read the newspaper and don't watch the news on TV. Same old junk stories, just a different day, all of the time.

2. Don't multi task. You think you are getting more done at once. But the truth is, you are only doing a lot at once and getting nothing accomplished.

3. Don't mirco manage. You will nickle and dime yourself for a nickle and a dime. Organization is necessary, but you could be more effective with your time than mirco managing.

4. Don't follow politics, but still vote. Let someone else you trust do the research.

5. Check email twice a day. 11:00AM & 4:00PM. If you constantly check your email, your clients will automatically think they can email you whenever and get a response immediately. Truth is, you will spend more time emailing back and forth than resolving any important issue over the phone.

6. Focus is key. Did you ever notice your best work has come from doing it at the last minute? That is because you are focused! Doesn't matter if your assignment was given to you two days ago or a month ago, you will be more focused at the last minute because the assignment is on your mind and you have to get it done now.

Fear is an Emotion

I went to Joshua Tree National Park over the weekend with my cousins and my brother to go camping. When we got there, the sign said campgrounds were full. I have seen signs like that before, and they have never stopped me. But for my cousins and brother, they have never slept on rocks on in the middle of nowhere before. I kept telling them to not worry about finding a "campsite" because we can camp anywhere. They were a bit worried about the fact that I was not worried, and didn't really care about finding a campsite. So I found a spot near a back country hiking trail to camp. It turned out better because we could be as loud as we wanted and we still made smores.




Sunday, we went bouldering. You can climb any of the rock formations you want. I have been to Joshua Tree so many times, I just find a big pile of rocks and climb as high as I can go. Sometimes you just gotta push yourself and either stretch your body or take a jump across the gap.



Looking back at this weekend, there were some scary times. For some reason, I was never afraid. Maybe I am used to being out in the wild. I remember some of the first times I camped the night out alone on a motorcycle trip, I was scared then. But I over came my fear. And climbing those boulders, there are some deep drops and the rocks get pretty high, but you just keep moving and don't think about 'what if you fall.' Fear is only an emotion, and it must be conquered.

Other photos on their way.

Christmas, it's a CROCK!

I guess Christmas Eve is probably a little too late to get all "ba'humbug" on my readers, but after trying to do my part with stimulating the economy and buying a bunch of stuff (more this year than normal), I am a bit grossed out with holiday consumerism right now. A few things got me thinking, like Bill Murray's moment of clarity at the end of the movie, Scrooged (my favorite Christmas movie that I watch every year.)

I have noticed that since before Thanksgiving, no one has time to see each other because they are "out doing stuff for the holidays..." I just got an email from my Aunt Patti saying she missed me because she hasn't seen me in a while. Everyone always says they want to hang out, but when I call to see them, they are busy shopping. I mean everyone.

I have been thinking how much time we spend getting ready for the holidays, and I believe it is an unjustfied amount. Stupid holidays got everyone running around for an entire month. Whoever is in charge of the holidays is laughing until they wet their pants. Sitting in traffic, standing in lines, spending more than we earn, buy buy buy, go go go, do do do...what about ho ho ho?

Isn't Christmas about friends and family? Isn't that why we send out Christmas cards and holiday cards? I met up with my old friend from high school last weekend, Justin Bullock, and I had the best time hanging out AND not thinking about Christmas because I WAS doing the Christmas thing.

Christmas Eve and Day are here, and what are we doing? Rushing to the next house, seeing the next set of family, barely have time for friends (and avoiding the ones we didn't buy any gifts for), rush rush rush, go go go, ho ho ho?
NO NO NO.

These are the end of the holidays, make time to sit down a little longer, make some coffee, make an effort to hang out with your friends and family for a few hours in the next few days.

For the Fatherless

After coming back from Russia and visiting a lot of fatherless children last week, and for having two father figures walk out on my life, I have a few comments on this day to the men that have walked out on their families lives.
This is not an easy day for my family, and for just seeing a lot of abandoned kids a week ago, this day makes me real sad. Of all the celebrated holidays, this is the most broken one. I always think of how my life is, and how I will make it better for my children. But when I think about how to make it better, the answer is easy. Just be there and love your children. Life is tough, but that doesn't mean you should give up easily. After hanging out with so many orphans and through my road of life, everywhere I look, I see how not to be.
I will not be like my fathers.

At this time, I do not know how to be a father, but I have a great idea for knowing how much it means to love kids and be there for them to help them roam free, with love.

For the fathers that are still dads, congratulations and enjoy your day with your family.

I went to a funeral today.

You don't know what you got, until it's gone.
-French Proverb.

I believe funerals are made not only for closure, but for friends and family to get together and spend some quality time with everyone. Sometimes we forget about family and friends that are "too busy working" and it is unfortunate that we do not get to spend time with loved ones as much as we should.

There was actually two funerals this week for me, but I was "too busy working" to attend both. I missed out on seeing a lot of my family that I probably haven't seen in over a year.

Erica always says everything happens for a reason. The lesson I learned this week was never under estimate the importance of your family because one day, they won't be there.

The other thing I learned was that when I die, I want to have a New Orleans funeral march. And if I have to plan your funeral, that's what you are going to get.